História Boyish girl - My secrets

"Oh ..I should go home..you know ..some stuff"I returned awkwardly he took my hand I don't know why but it felt so good "I know you are not busy...just..plz..I'm like others ..I won't hurt you"you know ...I kind of trust him..he is the only person who cares... but I hate him..he shouldn not care about me...but I decide to stay a little bite more ..."where do you want me to start?"I ask  finally he looks into my eyes and I see a delight in them then he huges me so tight and says "I knew it..I knew it"he shakes me"ok..ok..I'm fe eling    dizzy ..do   n't ...do... that "I say every word with a payse or ups and downs in my voice"sorry"the only word that comes out of his mouth"if you do that again I won't even spit on you let alone tell u my life story"I say "I will start of by my early days.."I cantinue and I feel authority in my voice "I always wanted to be like bots since I understood the sharp diffrences between boys and girls..."he smirks "hey..prevert ..I mean their feelings"I say "what do you mean by feelings?"he is really confused I can feel that"what do u think?..boys are big heeded they think about themselves..they just want to enjoy every sec they don't think about others feelings specially girls so they hurt girls easily and they do not have any fear of any thing ..tgey can be an asshole but no one won't care and girls will love them more even...that 's the reason why I like to be a boyish girl..but that doesn't mean I 'm a gay ..you know I even hate the word let alone to be one but I totally respect them.. but I know that people understand me in bad way ..and think like that"oh maybe I talked too much but I don't care cause that words were killing and eating me alive inside his voice calls me out of my imaginations"I felt it when I saw u I knew that you are not one ..I really felt it deeply..and I 'm happy to hear that ..but that isn't a good reason to be like boys..or your reasons are not true about all of the boys..at least me..ya know"he cantinues his speech"wait..wait...you did not think like them? So you are the very first person to think so ..tnx" I said ..I felt like it is getting easy to communicate with him.."really being girl will suit you ..maybe that is the time for achange..do u want me to help ya?" He commented "I don't know.. every one will scoff at me ...BTW ...Idk  how to do that "I replied "I will help ..do you want to do it..plzz??I'm begging u plz I want to see kids faces .."he said"ok ..when should we begin ?"I really am curios for that faces too ..also I can spend some time with him..and I will finally learn to be like girls but how will he help me he is not a girl..c'mon Melody let it go ..you need some time for your self..all those lonely times will disapear ..horray.. I always dream to be like others but I can not do that on my own..but now some one will help me...

"Melody...what do you say?"he says "I already answered you and asked a question"I reply"oh you are out of the picture ..I just told you that we will start it tomorrow and we won't go to school because of that..but then I asked you whether  you like to hear music or watch movie ..also you have to stay here tonight "he says"can we watch 13 reasons why?"I say but deep dow I'm thinking about tomorrow "yeah"..

 He plays the first tape and we watch it to the end...

"That was good ...can we go for 2 one?"I ask him "yeah..did you kniw that spending time with you is amazing?"he says while he plays second tape..But I rather be quite...

the rest of night goes like that we eat popcorns,watch 4 episodes of13 reasons why ...but then we  both go to sleep in seprate rooms around 3 am..

I jump on the bed thinking about tomorrow and I feel my eyes getting heavy

....

I hear a scream right after I fall sleep I wake up ..I rush to his room and see him pointing to a cockroach ..

aww

I kill it ..the ask him "seriously?" He is still shaking he asks me" can I come to your room I really can not sleep here!"he says 

seriously? 

"....ok..come !" I go to my room and he comes right behind me I jump on the bed and he dies the same"what you are not going to sleep here !"I say "plz I can not sleep on floor"

_me niether

_ok we both share the bed!ok?

_ok

I sleep and he sleeps right beside me..