História Letter 2 U - Capítulo 35

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Palavras 4.524
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Gêneros: Drama (Tragédia), Romance e Novela, Suspense, Violência, Yaoi (Gay)
Avisos: Álcool, Bissexualidade, Drogas, Estupro, Heterossexualidade, Homossexualidade, Insinuação de sexo, Linguagem Imprópria, Mutilação, Nudez, Sexo, Suicídio, Tortura, Violência
Aviso legal
Os personagens encontrados nesta história são apenas alusões a pessoas reais e nenhuma das situações e personalidades aqui encontradas refletem a realidade, tratando-se esta obra, de uma ficção. Os eventuais personagens originais desta história são de minha propriedade intelectual. História sem fins lucrativos, feita apenas de fã para fã sem o objetivo de denegrir ou violar as imagens dos artistas.

Capítulo 35 - The guilt

Fanfic / Fanfiction Letter 2 U - Capítulo 35 - The guilt

In the evening of that day, JB left a message on the group chat saying that he and Mark were at a hotel and as soon as he convinced the elder of going back to the lodging, they would join them. The leader didn’t reveal where they were nor if they’d be returning that night. The members asked dozens of questions when they got that brief information on their cellphones, but the leader never answered any of them. As soon as Jaebeom posted the message, he immediately went offline.

“The hotel they are staying must have a pretty bad Wi-Fi signal. But, at least now we know they’re alive.” Yugyeom commented tiredly after shoving his phone in his pocket. He was relieved to hear from the leader, but he didn’t know what to expect when the oldest members of the group returned. After Got5 had lunch at the BBQ restaurant Jackson mentioned earlier, all of them went to a bar, and then a pub and then every single place in the island where they could order drinks. They only returned to the lodging in the evening, after watching the sundown on the shores of a beach. Drunk as they were, the animosities had lessened a bit and the group didn’t antagonize the Chinese so much. However, none of them cracked jokes or chatted excitedly about anything. That gathering wasn’t like the ones they had in the old days. Alcohol was just a way to distract themselves from the crisis they were facing.

“I really need a shower! What if JB shows up and sees me plastered like this? I’ve gotta get rid of this stench of alcohol.” Youngjae announced as he yawned and disappeared into the room he shared with Jinyoung.

“JB cannot blame us for getting shitfaced. It’s not every day we see Mark hyung flipping out like that.” A tipsy Bambam commented sprawled out on the couch.

“We hold the intervention meeting and we get him help. He’ll understand that we worry about him and that we care about his health. We’ll convince Mark that he needs professional help and that all we want is for him to get better.” Jinyoung said firmly. Earlier, while they drank at a certain bar, Got5 started researching on their phones about several PTSD programs and the best mental institutions were Mark could be properly treated. Bambam suggested an intervention when Yugyeom mentioned that the elder would probably feel offended if they contacted any medical center without his knowledge. Jackson was against the idea, but no one cared about his opinion. Youngjae only claimed that they should hear what JB had to say about it first before they acted.

“Remind me again why we are not contacting his family for this upcoming event.” Jackson blurted out sarcastically. He was the only one who thought that Mark’s parents should be involved in that so-called intervention. He did not think Mark would be easily convinced by his friends to seek help. In his viewpoint, none of them were prepared to handle a situation like that.

“Because he’ll feel like we betrayed him. If we bring the Tuans here, their presence will put too much pressure on him. We gotta get him to trust us first and make him realize that he has a problem. His destructive behavior is not only a danger to himself. Look at Jinyoung hyung’s face! What if he had really killed him?” Yugyeom had a concerned expression on his face. He wanted to believe that the GOT7 family’s efforts would be enough to save the American.

“We corner him like that and he won’t have a reason to trust us ever again.” The Chinese declared.

“We don’t know how Mark will react to this intervention. Actually, you are the reason why we gotta keep this thing between ourselves. Who knows, you might be the reason he is in need of an intervention! We have to do this whole shit secretly just to fucking protect you, Wang. Imagine if his parents, brother and sisters show up here and suddenly the word ‘rape’ comes out of his mouth! You’d be in trouble, and though I’d love to see you in prison, we shouldn’t forget about Lee’s rules. No police involved.” Jinyoung retorted while leaning against the wall of the living room. The rapper huffed awkwardly when the singer crossed his arms and shot him a dirty look.

“Where the hell is this letter2u by the way? Any ideas?” Bambam asked, as he glanced at Jackson suspiciously.

“Don’t look at me. Gladly, I haven’t heard from him since we landed on the island. I mean, everyone received the message he sent us with those instructions about where each couple should go as soon as we arrived in the lodging. That was all I heard from him.” The rapper quickly defended himself and before he could say anything else in his defense, a recently showered Youngjae came out of his bedroom in a hurry and joined the others in the living room.

“Jackson hyung, did you post anything on Weibo?” the dongsaeng asked with a terrified look on his face as he held his mobile in one hand.

“Why, what is it now?” the rapper looked alarmed as he approached the younger and had a look at Youngjae’s phone. The rapper was facing an online backlash for a supposed post on Weibo in which he declared himself a guardian of the Chinese flag.

“Have you heard about these protests in Hong Kong? Did you take any sides? They are saying you’re only after the money and fame you get from Mainland China. Are you into politics or something?” Bambam inquired as he himself pulled out his phone and started to research the topic on Google. The confused rapper was speechless. He had horror written all over his face.

“It was Lee Tae-U wasn’t it?” Yugyeom guessed quickly and the other just nodded his head in frustration. An upset Jackson immediately started typing on his phone while the others wondered what kind of impact that stunt could mean to the rapper’s career.

“This shit is serious. They are making threats and they don’t even want you to show your face in your own birthplace! What’s wrong with this people?” Bambam sounded annoyed.

“They have a reason to protest and be angry, Bam. Hongkongers go to great lengths to protect their freedom. Listen, I’ve gotta make some calls. I’m worried about some people I know in there. I’ll be in my room. Good night.” Jackson excused himself nervously and left the other members with worried expression on their faces.

“His parents are in China, right?” Youngjae asked, his voice was tense.

“Yes. But I think they own a place in Hong Kong too.” Jinyoung answered shortly as he also checked the news on his phone. He was also concerned about the Wangs. He liked Jackson’s parents and no matter how mad he was at the rapper, his family had nothing to do with their problems. He didn’t know how bad the situation was at their home country, but judging by Jackson’s reaction, he knew it wasn’t a matter to be taken lightly. At some point, the whole band could also be affected by that post. Got7 was clearly having the best and the worst year of their lives. He wondered why Lee Tae-U would hack Jackson’s Weibo account and do something like that. Was it because the rapper changed their tables at the Café? He wanted to think that Jackson deserved all those terrible words and criticisms he was receiving from all those thousands of infuriated netizens, yet, he couldn’t help but feel extremely bothered by the death threats. Not long ago Jinyoung wished his band mate’s death, but he wasn’t really sure about how he would feel once Jackson was gone. The singer hated that feeling of pity he felt for Wang. At least this time, he was being punished for the wrong reasons.

“So Lee is still watching us and he is still not a great fan of Jackson hyung. He still have hackers doing his dirty work for him. What else is new? I’m just surprised he let Mark and JB leave this lodging since he’s so strict about his damn rules.” Yugyeom commented thoughtfully as he also started reading on his phone about the Weibo matter.

“What if none of them is contacting us because letter2u has them? That asshole could be with our hyungs at this very moment. I mean, it does explain a lot of things. Why JB and Mark are not picking up our calls or why they didn’t tell us where they are!” Youngjae seemed genuinely terrified. The other youngsters seemed to consider that idea for a while, but before that comment turned into a hot topic, Jinyoung stopped them.

“Hey, let’s not let our minds run wild here, okay? Lee has no reason to kidnap them or something. It’s late and we are all wrecked and exhausted. I’m sure we’ll see our hyungs tomorrow morning. Let’s go to our beds everyone, come on. Chop, chop!” Jinyoung said with determination. His dongsaeng’s fears weren’t unfounded, but he didn’t even want to entertain that possibility. Soon, all the youngsters followed his suggestion and went to their rooms. The singer had to spend the night calming Youngjae down, assuring him that his friend and his boyfriend were okay.

The next morning Jaebeom and Mark were already in front of the lodging when they noticed the quietness of the place. They eyed each other with uncertainty while they opened the frontdoor. It was already 10:30 in the morning and the silence reigned inside those walls. The two Got7 members felt like they had walked into graveyard.

“Where the hell is everyone?!” JB went to the kitchen, and then to the living room, the service room, all the while calling the name of his dongsaengs. Mark didn’t think twice before going to Jinyoung’s room. As soon as he opened the door, a chill ran down his spine. In the bed, he saw Youngjae and Jinyoung as motionless as two fresh corpses. He froze on the spot. He wanted to scream, run to them, but his body wouldn’t move.

“Hey, Mark! The others are upstairs, still sleeping. I think they drank last night. Are Jin and Jae out too? What are you doing standing there?” Jaebeom approached the elder leaning on the bedroom door and touched his shoulder. Mark was already hyperventilating.

“I …think… they are…” the American stuttered, as he remained petrified. The leader frowned at his hyung’s unusual behavior. JB glanced at the two in the bed and then turned his gaze to Mark again.

“They are sleeping, man. Relax, okay?” The Korean assured him, as he approached the bed and lifted the blanket up from Jinyoung’s body, just to prove to Mark that he was still breathing.

“Are…you…sure?!” Mark’s frightened eyes focused on the singer’s rib cage. The American’s lips quivered and his hands started shaking. He couldn’t see his boyfriend’s chest moving, he was sure his lungs weren’t working. It was also like that yesterday on the beach. After he punched Jinyoung, he could swear the singer had stopped breathing and even when he checked his pulse, he convinced himself that the younger was dead.

“Mark stop looking at them like that. I’ve just told you they are fine! Can’t you see?!” JB’s voice raised, but his words were completely ignored as he walked to his hyung impatiently. The American was already crouching in front of the door as his eyes started watering. JB put a hand on his knee and tried to make the elder face him, but it was another person who made Mark wake from his stupor.

“Mark?” Jinyoung suddenly sat up in bed, awakened by his best friend’s edgy tone of voice. The first thing he saw was the elder on the floor being supported by JB’s hands. However, as soon as he called the American’s name, Mark stood up abruptly and his anxious arms reached for him in the bed. Jinyoung’s arms immediately circled his boyfriend’s back when he felt the weight of his body on his. JB watched the scene in awe. The sudden change in Mark, his expression of joyful relief and the thousands ‘I’m sorrys’ he whispered in Jinyoung’s ear was almost painful to witness. Those two looked very much in love and he couldn’t help but feel a bit of remorse as he eyed the content smile playing on his best friend’s lips. Regret slapped him hard on the face.

“Choi Youngjae, I stay out for one night and when I return you’re already cuddling with another man in bed! That kinda hurt my feelings, you know?” the leader grunted, averting his eyes from the happy couple lying beside his beloved. He tried to remain cool as the two started kissing passionately. Mark and Jinyoung seemed to totally ignore his presence. He sighed in disbelief as he remembered how those plump lips felt against his a few hours ago. He could remember every single inch of Mark’s mouth, and how his cheeks flushed when his tongue hungrily battled against his as they laid naked in a bed of a certain hotel room. He still could feel the smell of his hair, the silkiness of his skin, his hot breath against his neck, the warmth of his fingers on his back. JB felt like suffocating as those sinful images flashed through his mind. He wished he could delete all of them. When he heard a moan escape from Jinyoung’s mouth, he knew he had to leave immediately. He couldn’t stay in that room for too long. He snorted indignantly as his boyfriend refused to wake up. Youngjae wasn’t a morning person and waking him up was quite a hard mission to accomplish. So he lifted the whining Youngjae up and carried him out of the bedroom. Before he kicked the door shut he turned to the couple again.

“We are officially changing rooms now. 2jae urgently needs some private time and you guys clearly claimed this bed as yours already. Enjoy it!” the leader scoffed and finally left with a half awake Youngjae on his back. As soon as Jaebeom and his boyfriend disappeared from the room, Jinyoung disentangled his limbs from Mark and stared into his eyes.

“Why are you wearing JB’s perfume?” the singer asked in a serious tone. The American looked shocked for a minute, but he didn’t want to show it.

“Why is the smell of Youngjae’s shampoo all over your shirt?” Mark asked, mimicking his hard expression and firm voice. Jinyoung smiled at that as he caressed the back of the elder’s neck.

“I was worried about you. Why didn’t you guys call? Thanks to Youngjae’s creative mind, I was almost convinced that Tae-U was torturing you two somewhere on this island.” The singer shook his head in frustration as he pecked Mark’s lips.

“I was out of it and I guess JB was too busy looking after me.” Mark lied as he bit his lips nervously. Jinyoung didn’t miss that. He knew he was hiding something from him, but he didn’t want to push him too much at that moment.

“I’m sorry for yesterday. I shouldn’t have accused you like that. You said you didn’t see anything, and I should’ve believed you. My bad, I’m an idiot. Please tell me we are okay.” The singer almost begged as he wrapped his arms around the American again and gave him another peck on the lips. Mark was straddling him in bed with an awkward expression on his face.

“I hit you pretty hard and left you lying unconscious on the sand. That’s wrong. How come you’re the one asking for forgiveness?” Mark interjected as he touched the fading bruise on his boyfriend’s cheek.

“I know you didn’t mean it. Let’s just forget about that and move on with our lives. Our lives together, of course. We are still boyfriends, aren’t we?” Jinyoung cocked his head to the side and winked at the American. Mark thought about telling his lover the whole truth, how Kwon had harassed him at that café and how he had brutally lost control in that toilet. He also considered revealing to his lover how he cheated on him for the second time with his best friend. But he didn’t want to ruin that moment, he didn’t want to undo that angelic beam etched on his boyfriend’s perfect features. Lies were often kinder than the truth.

“Obviously. I am yours and you are mine. We even have rings to prove that.” Mark smiled widely as he brought their hands together and kissed the ring on Jinyoung’s finger. The way the elder’s lips landed on the surface of the silver object was almost illegal. The singer could swear he saw lust in those adorable cinnamon eyes. When Mark drove his tongue between two of his fingers Jinyoung groaned helplessly. The American smiled wickedly at that reaction. He knew how to tease his boyfriend. And Jinyoung knew exactly how to turn the tables on him. He flipped their positions and immediately he was on top of Mark, who suddenly became alarmed. He wondered if JB had left any vestige of their earlier activities on his body. As observant as his boyfriend usually was, Jinyoung wouldn’t have any trouble finding any trace of his best friend on his skin.

“Mine?” Jinyoung’s question was almost a whisper against the skin of his neck. The Korean opened a few buttons of the elder’s shirt, but didn’t unbutton it completely. Just part of Mark’s chest was exposed. Jinyoung seemed to be slowly examining every pore in his nipples and shoulders. The way the younger rubbed his face against his chest was mesmerizing. He wanted to leave his scent there, above his man’s heart. That heart which was completely his. The American trembled underneath his lover. He couldn’t help but moan when the singer licked his earlobe, kissed his collarbone and finally landed his teeth on the side of his neck. He bit him on the same spot Lee had left a mark once. Waves of pleasure assaulted Mark and he was sure that if Jinyoung sank his teeth a bit further he would come instantaneously. As if he had read his thoughts, the younger released his abused skin and captured his mouth in a devouring kiss. When his hands touched the bulge in Mark’s pants the elder whimpered. But it was when his hands slipped inside his boxers that Mark pushed him away.

“My hands are too cold or something?” a frowning Jinyoung asked as he sat on Mark’s hips. The American gulped uncomfortably. Suddenly he was absolutely sure that perfume wasn’t the only thing JB had left on his body or inside it. He could remember the feeling of JB’s ejaculation invading him several times, not only yesterday but also that morning. He had taken a shower, but somehow he felt like he couldn’t clean that spot inside him, the one which was touched by the leader’s seed. He couldn’t get rid of that thought. That sensation of being stained was overwhelming. He didn’t want to soil the singer with his filthiness. He didn’t want to see his lover in the arms of a used whore. He didn’t want Jinyoung to find out that he was that whore. And Mark could swear that if he made love to him at that moment, his boyfriend would realize that. He was too scared to let boyfriend inspect his body so soon.

“Maybe we could just enjoy some dry-humping.” Mark suggested weakly as he hoped that his boyfriend wouldn’t ask too much questions.

“Hey, I know it’s been a while, but you don’t have to be scared. Don’t worry, I’ve got lots of lube in the drawer and I’ll go slow, you know I will. I promise you won’t bleed this time.” Jinyoung tried to convince his boyfriend as he showered his face with kisses.

“I don’t know.” It was all Mark managed to say as he mentally facepalmed himself, trying to come up with a proper excuse.

“I love you, Markie. Let me show you how much I love you.” Jinyoung insisted, as he rubbed his ass against Mark’s clothed erection. The way he said those words almost melted the elder’s heart.

“I love you and I want you too…” Mark whispered almost inaudible. He was supposed to add a ‘but’ in his sentence, but Jinyoung was faster capturing his mouth. He deepened the kiss as his thumbs played with Mark’s face, then his nipples and bellybutton. When the Korean released his lips Mark was in heaven, unable to voice his thoughts coherently.

“Don’t you wanna be inside me? Don’t you want me inside you?” the younger asked sensually.

“Yes.” Mark confessed inebriated.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” Jinyoung asked as he started to undo Mark’s pants and pull his boxers down. For a lingering second the American remembered JB’s sultry face above his, the breathtaking kisses, the erotic sounds coming from his lips, the inconvenient sex jokes, his sweating broad shoulders, the frenetic move of his delicious hips, his toned abs wet with cum, his hard and insatiable dick thrusting inside his hole and filling him with his semen, and the way he made him feel guiltless in his bed.

“Stop.” The American said abruptly. Jinyoung stopped his hands and stared as his lover’s eyes quizzically. He hadn’t registered his boyfriend’s words yet.

“What?” the singer stared at his hyung’s lips, wondering if he had heard right.

“Get off me, please. I can’t do this now.” The elder was able to gather all the strength left in him to utter those words.

“Sorry for pushing.” The younger said a bit disappointed trying to control his breath as he threw himself on the spot Youngjae occupied earlier in the bed and laid beside Mark. He was too aroused and his erection ached inside his shorts.

“It’s okay. Let me give you a hand.” The American declared as he quickly pulled down his boyfriend’s shorts and boxers and started masturbating him with his hands. The singer groaned with the contact.

“You don’t have to.” Jinyoung moaned as he watched his boyfriend’s fingers stimulating his penis.

“I want to.” Mark whispered as he gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“During our break…Have you been with someone else?” Jinyoung asked out of the blue, without looking at him.

“Have you?” Mark’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t want to lie again, but he had promised JB that no one would ever know.

“No, of course not.” The younger swore, but Mark didn’t.

“If you started falling out of love with me, you would tell me, right?” Jinyoung’s insecurity was clearly visible. The American felt sick to his stomach seeing him like that. When he entered that room and thought his boyfriend was dead, he felt as if his world was about to end, yet, now he just felt like his soul was breaking. Kwon’s words kept echoing in his mind. ‘You are failure, Tuan. You’re blessed with such looks but you’re unable to make a man happy.’ Suddenly Mark wished he had smashed his own face against the mirror of that toilet at the café. If he could, he would gladly trade his stunning looks and his troubled mind for an ugly face and a peaceful brain. He would swap places with Kwon in a second if that meant abolishing that anguish inside him. He felt like he should be the one disfigured lying in a hospital bed. He wondered if those visions he kept having of Jinyoung’s death meant that he was killing his own boyfriend little by little. Yesterday on the beach, Mark thought he had killed him with a punch, and minutes ago, for some reason, he believed that Jinyoung had found out about his affair with Jaebeom and somehow, that betrayal had given him and Youngjae a hard attack in that bed. Was he being paranoid because he had a guilty conscience after all? Why did he keep hurting the most important person in his life? The American wished he could love the singer the way the younger deserved to be loved.

“That will never happen. My love for you will never run out, Jinyoungie.” Mark assured him as he increased the speed of his hands and descended his lips on his.

“I love you.” Jinyoung mumbled as he held Mark’s face to his and felt waves of pleasure hit him when he finally reached his climax.

“Let me take care of you too.” The singer offered but Mark broke the kiss and shook his head negatively.

“I am cool, I just need a shower.” The elder got up from the bed ignoring his own hard on, went into the bathroom, got a towel and came back to the bed to clean up his boyfriend.

“I have to agree with that. Just go ahead and get rid of his perfume. It’s unnerving to smell him on you.” Jinyoung pointed out seriously as he met the other’s eyes. Mark just nodded at him before looking away in shame.

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” he asked in a little dispirited tone.

“It’s ours now. I am sure Youngjae is not coming back here. JB will make sure of that.”

“Okay.” Mark nodded again and disappeared into the bathroom. Jinyoung thought about asking if he could join him in the shower, but he got rid of that idea as soon as he heard a key turning in a lock. He wasn’t welcome in there. Jinyoung was aware that Mark was weirder than usual, but he forced himself to concentrate on the ceiling above him. He wondered if an intervention would be enough. He hated to think that Jackson could be right. Months ago, the rapper had given him two alternatives, leaving Mark or calling his parents to commit him for treatment. None of those options seemed bearable, but only one couldn’t be ignored anymore. Mark had become too dangerous, not only to himself but also to others around him, and Jinyoung couldn’t overlook his episodes anymore. A tear slipped from the corner of his eye as he feared what the elder could be doing to hurt himself in that locked up bathroom. However, he tried not to despair yet. He could already imagine what could happen if he knocked on that door and demanded answers from his lover. He knew Mark could have a breakdown again. Therefore, he decided that he would wait for his boyfriend to come out of that bathroom willingly and hopefully unharmed. He had been to hell and back in several occasions since he started dating Mark, yet, he had no intention of giving up on him, not now, not ever.

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