História Memento Mori - Face

“Bunny, I’m so glad to see you!” JB was clearly excited with the American’s visit to the mansion. He wrapped his arms around Mark and he didn’t want to let him go. It seemed that he missed his stepbrother as much as the older missed him. He showered him with kisses all around his face. He loved to feel his warmth, to smell his hair, to touch him. The distance had really increased their yearning for each other.

“Wow, if you really miss me that much, why don’t you come back to the house?” a smiling Mark cocked his head to the side, when JB had finally released him. Although the Korean wasn’t all over him anymore, their fingers remained entwined.

“I can’t leave Jin yet. He barely steps out of his room. Grandpa is on a business trip, and I don’t have the heart to leave my brother to his own devices.” Jaebeom gave him a despondent look. “But I really do miss home. I especially miss you, Bunny.” JB caressed his cheek and ran a hand through his hair. Mark relaxed against his touch.

“I miss you too.” Mark confessed. He was glad he decide to got there. The first time he entered that mansion he had a bad feeling about it, but now, as he sat in that living room across from his stepbrother, suddenly he felt like there was no other place he would rather be.

“How’s Dad and stepmom? Are you sitting at the table with them? Have you been a good boy like I asked you to?” JB patted his head playfully. Since the Korean wasn’t even attending school during those weeks, the only way he would communicate with his father was through the phone. Actually, Taek-geun had agreed to let him spend time at the mansion to look after his brother, hoping that at some point, JB would manage to bring Jinyoung home.

“I’m doing what I can.” Mark suddenly remember the eventful dinner of one hour ago and he felt nauseous to realize he would have to keep one more secret from Jaebeom, how much of an asshole his grandfather actually was. The teenager didn’t wanna bring his stepbrother down. JB was trying to keep his cool, but Mark knew he was grieving. Perhaps, even more than his troubled twin brother.

“Good.” The Korean smiled at him. “You know What? I had a great idea! How about a movie and some popcorn? Can you stay the night? Should I call Dorine and ask her? I mean, I can drive you to school tomorrow morning. What do you say?” Jaebeom sounded hopeful.

“I’ll text her later. I’m sure she won’t mind.” Mark replied enthusiastically, not really caring about his mother’s opinion right now. “But what about your brother?” he added, a bit uncomfortable.

“We had dinner already. He’s not leaving this room after the last meal of the day.”

“How are you holding up?” Mark looked at him sympathetically.

“I’m fine.” The younger lied.

“Are you sure that if I sleep here he won’t take pictures of me while I’m unconscious?” Mark raised an eyebrow at the Korean. He couldn’t help but ask.

“Listen I know that was a terrible experience, and I promise you it won’t ever happen again. I’ll make sure he’ll personally apologize to you. Don’t worry, he learned his lesson. I confiscated his phone, Jackson and the others gave him a piece of their minds and he basically grounded himself.” JB sighed heavily. “I know it’s not much, but even if we went to the police station, we don’t have any proof. I mean, the nudes are gone, sadly.” JB smirked at the American and winked at him.

“JB what the hell!?” Mark looked scandalized.

“Calm down. It’s just a pity that I didn’t even have a chance to take a look at them before they were gone.” Jaebeom chuckled, after licking his lips seductively. The American shook his head at him and threw a cushion at his head.

“Oh, really? Maybe he’s in his bedroom upstairs jerking off to the same pictures he claimed to have deleted.” Mark suggested, a bit offended. Jaebeom’s expression turned serious.

“I confiscated his computer too. He only reads books most of the time.” The younger took a deep breath and continued. “Look, he definitely owes you and apology, and maybe, he also deserves to spend some time in juvie. I want you to know that I didn’t take lightly the fact that he drugged, undressed and posed you for his camera. But everything happened at the same time, you know. Too many revelations to deal with. That’s so unfair, I hate that you got involved in all of this. I’m so sorry, Mark.” JB covered his face with both his hands and grunted in frustration.

“Hey, it’s all right. It would be worse if he had raped me, or something. Plus, I’m not like some chick who would have her reputation ruined if her nudes ended up on the Internet. I mean, it’s easier for guys. I won’t be called a slut, but a stud! Some film director might even invite me to star on a porn movie, who knows?! I might become famous.” Mark chuckled, trying to get the younger’s hands out of his face. “Hey, as long as I don’t have to see him around, we can have a quiet night together. Let’s drop the subject.” Mark tried to cheer him up.

“No one should see you like that, but me.” JB whispered still hiding his face. Mark could barely hear him.

“What?” The American wasn’t sure if he had heard him right.

“I promise you no one will be allowed to see you like that from now on, and if anyone tries, I’ll kill them myself. I’ll protect your privacy and your innocence, Bunny.” He repeated a bit louder.

“No one can see me naked, but you, right?” Mark asked, as he kneeled in front of the younger, and abruptly shoved JB’s hands away from his face. The Korean couldn’t help but gasp when he felt the contact of the other’s lips on his. Mark released him swiftly, and bit his lower lip embarrassedly. “That’s called a Westerner’s spontaneity.” He said shyly, eying the other with curiosity.

“That’s more like it.” Jaebeom exclaimed as he quickly captured Mark’s lips again, gripping the back of his neck with intensity. That wasn’t a chaste kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance as JB’s body leaned against Mark’s. They were soon wrapped around each other, moaning on the carpet and rubbing their clothed erections against each other.

“Forget the movie. Take me to your bed, make me yours.” Mark managed to say between a moan. The carpet was soft against his back, but he still thought that a bed was essential for a first time. The friction of JB’s body on top of him was driving him insane, and all he wanted right now was to finish what they had started during a certain shower at the Lim’s bathroom. He had no doubt about losing his virginity to his stepbrother.

“We can’t.” JB replied without stopping his movements. He was positioned between Mark’s legs and he felt like he could die if he stopped grinding his pelvis against the elder’s. He slipped his hands under Mark’s hoodie, to caress his lower abdomen and play with his happy trail. The Korean swiftly took off his shirt, so the older could run his hands through his broad shoulders, chest and back. He loved the feeling of Mark’s curious hands grabbing his buttocks. He mercilessly licked and sucked on the American’s nipples and collarbone, making his stepbrother tremble with pleasure under him.

“Come on, it’s okay. I want you to be my first, it has to be you.” Mark whined, as he felt JB’s hands undoing the zipper of his pants and massaging the hard on that ached to be released from those boxers. He bucked his hips against his, loving the stimulation.

“Bunny, no. We can do it like this, we’re almost there. You’ll see.” Jaebeom whispered to him before giving the older another searing kiss. He knew they wouldn’t last much, the American was as hard as him. He often grabbed the bulge in his boxers and when he did it, he immediately felt Mark’s nails sink into the skin of his back. He increased the speed of his repetitive motions, the groping, the fondling and when he felt like coming in his pants, he gave Mark a bruising bite on the neck. He knew the other had reached his orgasm. The loud erotic sound that escaped from the American’s throat made him come hard inside his pants. He had never heard the older utter such a sultry noise, not even when he gave him a blowjob in the shower a month ago. Jaebeom quickly captured his lips again, and shoved his tongue inside his delicious cave, tasting one more time every corner of the elder’s mouth.

“Oh, my gosh! That was incredibly hot.” Mark exclaimed, while he tried to recover from his afterglow. JB laid beside him and fixed his eyes on the ceiling above them.

“I second that. I almost lost control for a while in there. You don’t know what you do to me. The way you wrapped your legs around my waist was quite tantalizing. I felt tempted to get you butt naked and just endlessly ram my dick into you, seriously.” Jaebeom confessed, still trying to regain his breath.

“Why didn’t you?” Mark asked a bit disappointed.

“You know why.” He turned his head to face his alluring stepbrother.

“When I found out I hadn’t slept with your brother I really felt relieved, but now, I don’t know anymore. It’s like my virginity is a barrier between you and I. You made clear before that you don’t intend to take that next step with me, and I feel like an idiot for begging.” The vexed American stood up from the floor and pouted at him.

“Bunny, don’t say that.” JB sounded regretful.

“I cummed in my pants. I need a shower, clothes and a fucking bed to sleep. Alone.” Mark stated annoyed. JB gave a deep sigh and stood up. He then took him to one of the guest rooms of the house and let his stepbrother have some time alone to calm himself. Jaebeom didn’t mean to hurt him, yet, even though he knew the older felt rejected and unwanted, he just couldn’t give him what he wanted. He liked Mark, he really did, but he had a promise to keep. Youngjae once made him swear that he would only fuck another guy, once he had totally forgotten about him. It was a silly commitment and somehow, it felt more like a curse. He was unable to erase from his mind the serious look on Youngjae’s face when they made that pact. He couldn’t really eliminate that longing inside him, that craving to see his face again, and make sure that he could move on from him. Mark wouldn’t be able to understand that, he was too headstrong to listen to his motives. However, Jaebeom was aware that something had to be done to appease his stepbrother’s anger.

Half an hour later, JB took the initiative, and quietly crawled into the guest room where Mark was. The American had just left the shower, when the Korean jumped on him from behind. The foreigner immediately flushed, since he had only a towel around his waist and his body was still completely wet from the shower. JB proudly eyed the hickey that was forming on his neck.

Clearly startled by the sudden contact, Mark turned around, and quickly disentangled himself from the strong arms that back hugged him. As soon as he registered JB’s presence there, he took a few steps away from the younger, feeling a bit exposed. They had an intense heavy petting earlier, and, somehow he felt a bit embarrassed about it, now that he was the only one showing some skin.

“I love to see you blush, Bunny.” JB pointed out, smiling at him as the other shyly smiled back.

“You caught me by surprise, Beom-ah!” Mark protested, but JB wasn’t paying attention to his words, his eyes were fixed on the elder’s naked wet skin. “Do you like what you see?” Mark blurted out, as he followed JB’s eyes wandering over his naked chest. The American wasn’t mad at him for ehat happened earlier, he just couldn’t stand being mad at him for toolong.

“Maybe I should give you some time to change and come back later.” JB stated awkwardly and moved to the door swiftly, but Mark was faster, and pulled him back to the room, closing the door behind them. He had just regained his confidence, seeing how his stepbrother struggled to remain collected.

“You came all the way here for nothing?” he sensually murmured in JB’s ear as he pressed the boy against the closed door. Both his arms trapped JB’s body in there. He aimed to corner the Korean, both physically and emotionally. JB couldn’t help but giggle at the elder’s attempt of seduction. He had no intention of running at all, he was just teasing the foreigner. There was nowhere else he’d rather be but right there, in his arms. Jaebeom secretly yearned to be the center of the American’s attention.

“What are you doing? You’re gonna get me all wet. Get off me.” JB said weakly, trying not to suppress his chuckles. He struggled to keep his voice still as he felt Mark’s tongue circle his earlobe. The sensation of those soft lips brushing the sensitive skin of his neck made him quickly forget what he intended to tell Mark. He swallowed hard when the older licked his parted lips, use his thumbs to gently stroke his brows and place gentle kisses on his lids. JB found his actions adorable, while he lost himself in the deep eye contact his stepbrother was giving him. Mark knew the Korean wouldn’t be able to resist his caresses for too long. The friction between their bodies was unbearable, and all the while, small drops of water kept slipping from Mark’s hair just to dampen his shirt. The younger could feel the elder’s hard and pink nipples rubbing against his chest. JB sighed, striving to remind himself that he should be the adult in that room, since Mark never really acted like a hyung.

“Come on, you enter a guy’s room in the middle of the night and you don’t expect to be ravished?” Mark whispered to him sexily, as he started pressing his hips against his captive with more intensity.  JB couldn’t help but let a whiny moan escape from his lips. His capturer enjoyed the instant reaction he got from him, he loved to know that he was the one making the Korean utter such a melodic noise.

“You shouldn’t start something we cannot finish.” JB managed to mumble, looking dreamingly into his eyes. Although the younger seemed to be losing control of his own body, his mind was full of worries.

“We can finish this, right here, right now. You just have to say the word, I know you want it.” Mark murmured, while one of his hands tried to undo the zipper of JB’s jeans, but the younger soon put a stop his advances.

“Hey, don’t you want your first time with a guy to be more romantic?” JB eyed him seriously, brushing his hands away again, when Mark tried to reach for his waist. The older pouted.

“Don’t treat me like a chick, we’re both guys here, there’s no need to wait for roses and champagne.” he said impatiently and tried to capture JB’s mouth with his own, but the younger man shoved him on the bed and got away from his trapped position.

“You’re just horny. It doesn’t mean you’re ready.” JB replied concerned for the other teenager’s first experience.

“Is that so? Maybe you’re the one who’s not ready to man up and deflower your virgin stepbrother. I know you’re scared shitless, so don’t try to fool me with this lame excuse.” The older sighed disappointedly. “Isn’t there any way I can change your mind?” Mark asked seductively, as he got up from the bed, removed the towel from his waist and luxuriously walked in JB’s direction again. He would’ve thrown himself at JB if the latter didn’t utter the doleful words that immediately froze his passion.

“I’m not the virgin here, Mark, but you are. I like very much what I see, no doubt. I’d love to take you in my arms and make you scream my name all night long, yet, I want it to be special for you when the time comes, if it comes. We have to take things slow, okay? I admit that this attraction between us is getting stronger everyday, more than I’d like to admit. There’s no running away from it. There’s no doubt I want you to be mine, and mine alone, but not like this, at least not right now. We need to sort out our feelings before we do something we both regret. We need to know where this is going, make sure that the next step will be taken with caution and responsibility.” JB said firmly as an annoyed American started to quickly get dressed.

“Get out of my room. Jesus, you’re starting to sound like my fucking mother! What’s wrong with you!? It’s not like I’m asking you in marriage! You don’t need to make all this damn speech to make me understand why you don’t wanna screw me. Forget I even mentioned it.” Mark exclaimed, as he had just finished putting his boxers on.

“What? Didn’t you hear what I just said? Mark, I care for you.” JB looked confused and hurt by Mark’s rudeness.

“Thanks for that! Look, it’s late, Beom. We have classes tomorrow and I need to get some sleep. Who knows? I might find someone there tomorrow who’s not so afraid of fucking my ass!” he sounded unreasonably mad.

“Please, don’t be angry, I just want you to understand!” JB tried to explain himself, but Mark grabbed him by the arm and shoved him out of his room, quickly locking the door. The young man was about to knock on it, but he remembered they weren’t alone in the house and his insistence to speak to the older could possibly draw unwanted attention to them, so he gave up and went to his own room.

Later, on the same night, JB was in his bed, staring at the celling, distracted by his own thoughts, when the sound of soft knockings on his door. When he opened it, Mark was standing there, wearing his pajamas and holding a bottle of whiskey on his left hand.

“I hate arguing with you. I couldn’t sleep.” he muttered as he came into the room without being invited.

“Same here. Wow, this thing you have there looks expensive. My granddad will notice its absence.” JB commented as he pointed to the bottle in his hand, but the American didn’t really care. He shrugged when the other shook his head at him reprovingly. Mark wondered if he should just apologize to the younger, as he timidly sat on JB’s bed. Then he realized there was no need to. JB didn’t look upset, his stepbrother was already used to his stubbornness, so he went straight to the point.

“How old were you when you did it?” Mark stared at him firmly now.

“I’m not sure, maybe twelve, thirteen? Does it matter?” JB asked with a frown.

“It matters to me. How was it, did you regret it? Or it just felt right?” Mark asked further, as he looked down.

“It was not perfect, I think. I mean, I wasn’t even in love with the other kid, I don’t even remember his name. We were just using each other to get off. Sometimes I think I should’ve waited more. I mean, I’ve been with a lot of guys after that, but then, one of them showed me the real difference between sex and lovemaking. People don’t need to be in love to have sex, but you’re only able to make love with someone when you learn to love them. When I met Jae and we fell in love, only then, sex felt indescribable right, it felt wonderful, we truly made love to each other. I want you to feel as much loved and in love as I felt back then. There’s no need to rush things, we should try to learn how to love one another first.” JB replied cautiously as he kneeled before the foreigner sitting on his bed.

“Do you think you might fall for me someday?” an anguished Mark lifted his head to capture his eyes again. JB glimpsed a spark of hope in them.

“I don’t know, Bunny. Maybe. I’m confused, ‘cause you drive me completely nuts sometimes. I like to have you near me, I enjoy every single minute we are together! And all the time I really wanna kiss you and do all kinds of things to you, but we cannot ignore the elephant in the room. Our parents are still married, we are stepbrothers.” JB stated tentatively, as he noticed the apprehension in the other’s eyes.

“My brother is dead. I never considered you as his replacement. Not even for a second.” Mark huffed sourly. “Are you worried about the incestuous-like nature of our relationship? It’s not like I’m changing my name and adopting kids with you.” Mark shook his head in amusement. If JB knew that his parents’ marriage was a farce, maybe he wouldn’t be so worried about it.

“Having kids never crossed  my mind, but Jae mentioned kids once. Of course he-”

“Why you keep bringing him up? For fuck’s sake, you still can’t get over that kid, can you?” Mark undoubtedly hated that name, Choi Youngjae.

“Bunny, you gotta understand that Youngjae was my first love and I always believed he would be my last. He had a huge impact in my life, but he’s in the past. He’s gone, and you’re here now. Who knows? You might become the second greatest love of my life. Only time will tell. We’ll see.” JB gave him a small smile, which was not returned. Something bothered the American.

“What if one day he shows up here out of nowhere? Do you think you might start seeing each other again?” he became unsettled by each second.

“I don’t talk to him for more than a year. I have no idea if he’s still in Mokpo, or if he found someone new-”

“That day when we showered together, you said I reminded you of him. Do you still think of him when you’re with me? Do you see me as a replacement for Jae? If we end up fucking one of these days are you going to scream his name when you cum inside me?” The American spat, unable to keep his feelings in check. He ran an impatient hand through his hair and glared at the younger.

“N-no. Of course not! What the hell, Mark. What’s with all of these questions? There’s no need to be so angry at me, or jealous.” JB tried to shy away Mark’s concerns. The latter was about to deny what the other had just implied, yet, he knew it was useless.

“Sorry. I’m just a bit disappointed that I’m the only one new to this whole thing. And guess what, I don’t wanna be anymore. My first time doesn’t have to involve romance, a candle light dinner, some expensive wine, and rose petals sprinkled across the bed. You see, I brought the alcohol, I dismissed the damn roses, and all the rest. Now you must sort out your feelings for me, not before you do me, but after. I also figured out that having sex with you might be the only way I can be sure of what I feel. We can discuss about this lovemaking shit in the future, because now, I want you inside me. Or perhaps, I can be inside you.” Mark stated boldly as he opened the bottle, took a sip from it and offered it to JB.

“I’m not drinking at this time of the night, and I’m not going to touch you either. Haven’t you heard what I told you before? We need time, Mark!” JB tried to reason with him.

“I heard you say you fucked other guys and that you enjoyed it, even though you didn’t love all of them! I assume you are not so in love with this Youngjae kid anymore, since you haven’t been contacting the guy, right? I had Eric Nam, you had Choi Youngjae. Past Simple. Now I can assure you that as soon as we get in this bed, I’ll be able to tell you what I feel, coz I need no goddam time! Believe, we don’t have time. Death is on its way.” Mark had a helpless expression etched on his face, yet, he ignored JB’s questioning stare, and continued. “Let’s stop being so cautions about details, and let us seize the night, this moment right here. And if love comes from it, I guarantee you, I’ll never, ever let you go. I’m not losing anyone I care anymore.” he said frantically, as he held JB’s face with both hands. However, the other slowly pushed his hands away.

“You’re a dreamer, Mark! Love is not forever, you know? Soon you’ll realize that “love” isn’t enough to make a couple happy. Love brings lovers together just to break their fucking hearts when it’s over. Love wasn’t enough to keep Jae and I from breaking up.” JB looked mortified, the longing that resurfaced in his eyes pained Mark.

“Forget this Jae kid. You don’t love him anymore, you just got used to the idea that you do. It’s like me and Eric. That was not love. Look, Choi was a fucking coward for leaving you like that. I am not like him, I’m not leaving you! We can make a death pact right now, and we’ll never have to mourn one another.” Mark shouted at the other. Jaebeom wondered if he should be concerned by the elder’s words. He had never seen him like that.

“Stop it, you’re not making any sense! Enough of this stupid discussion. You’re going to wake Jinyoung up.” JB was at his wits end as he realized that there was no way the American would let go of the subject. Therefore, he grabbed the bottle from his hand and took a long gulp while the older stared wide-eyed at him. The younger almost finished the liquid, but he placed the bottle on the floor, next to the bed and eyed Mark up and down.

“Are you going to finally invite me to your bed?” Mark asked in a softer tone, as he observed JB remove his t-shirt and sit on the bed.

“I’m getting under the covers, you’re welcome to stay with me if you keep your hands to yourself. Now, don’t get the wrong idea here. What I’m saying is that I’ll allow you to sleep beside me before you get a chance to sleep with me. Nothing more than sharing the same bed for now. Leave it or take it, it’s your choice.” he stated firmly, as the other relented.

“Do you realize you’ve already rejected me twice in a single night? I cannot put up with this, I won’t be humiliated any longer. I wish you have sweet dreams with your darling Youngjae. They might even keep you warm tonight. I’ll be at the sofa downstairs.” The older said tiredly, and after getting properly dressed, he stomped out of that room.