História A new restart - Tape 8, Side A

The cold April afternoon of that year was over. The church, still covered in black robes, indicated that a funeral had just occurred. The girl Hannah Baker would finally have her rest. The faces of the Liberty High students where the girl studied, conveyed sadness, pain, and remorse. One of them, Clay Jensen's face was marked by the marks of suffering. He felt that he lost forever that which will forever mark his life and his heart. A few days passed. Crestmont was still enveloped in an atmosphere of mourning. And so were many participants in the funeral rite of days ago. Poor Hannah. Clay needed to get it out of his head. He brushed his teeth, as he usually did. Until he saw a package at the front door. He asked his parents if it was a package. He received negatives from both of them. He took the box. Same story. He looked for scissors in the kitchen. He tore the seal. Tapes, again! Tapes? He ignored it and took the first one. There was a number 8 in blue ink. He adjusted the headphones over his ears and started listening. It was her voice, yes, Hannah Baker, again:

Hello again, it's me, Hannah Baker. Yes, myself. Live and in stereo. You can settle wherever you are and adjust your tape player or any device you want well. But many must be thinking ... Am I not dead? .. No. I am not. The 11 reasons why I didn't win the battle. I'll tell you that. Anyway, the problems at that school go far beyond the whys of the previous tapes. And yes, if you're asking, the rules are the same. Simple and straightforward. Listen to them all and move on to the next person. When you're done, put them in the mailbox and you can send them to the next one. to hell. But at a proper address that I'm going to give. Yes, if that satisfies my curiosity, I'm in Crestmont. Where? Who knows? I can be anywhere on the map that is next to this lovely box. How can my voice be alone? I notice everything that happens. I saw the trial. I saw my funeral. And believe me, I am very much alive, but they can imagine.

But different from the previous batch, there won't be 13 complaints, but 13 findings of what I saw from each one of you. After all, a few months have passed and some things have changed, haven't you? And how did I survive? friend's warning: Don't try to cheat. Like the others I have copies of these too. And they may be used at some time in public if the toilets are destroyed. I'm careful, my people. And don't worry. it is bitter like the previous ones. At least, not so much. What does not stop me from saying what I like, or not... They are just comments I made of each one of you. If you like, okay, if not, patience, not even Jesus pleased everyone. I tried to be more sincere and balanced in this way. time, especially after seeing the hell you caused me on the previous tapes. I'm getting better, and I can get compliments and criticism when I think it's appropriate. Especially for those who called me or I don't know, crazy bitch. But whoever must be listening to these adorable new ribbons may be asking themselves. How did she save herself? Calm down, no hurry, we're just getting started. At the right time, I talk about how and when. Well, where should we start?

Oh yes, because of the events that followed mine, say death. Are you comfortable? I hope so. Take a juice, a hot chocolate or a snack and relax. This is the story of my second life. or perhaps better said, of my return to life. Let's start with the denunciations of that disgusting bully. Yes, I imagine you already know who I am referring to. The one who removed all my joy from life, which I am trying to recover. , I've been thinking a little bit about that, who knows, forgive those who did me harm. Except for my beloved Helmet, which never did me any harm and that disgusting one, who would go to hell for me. that don't fit to be mentioned in those tapes that I wouldn't mind seeing ever again.
You can be sure, all of you who listen to this tape, that I know what happened at the trial. And I will be very sincere; I did not expect that most of you would defend me. I appreciate that. However it was not better to do this when I was alive? Calm down, I'll talk one by one ...I didn't expect the guy who gave me the first kiss to still defend me. And even more, I could understand what was going on at that school. I saw it, saw you wallowing in drugs, drinking, smoking weed and going crazy. helped you Even more than someone who has referred to me as a crazy bitch. Yes, Justin, as in the previous tapes, the first is you...

Clay was still quite shaken by the latest events. He was trying to keep himself in check, but inside, he was still devastated by the loss of Hannah, feeling a mixture of guilt, pain and longing. It was too terrible a suffering to bear. , life should go on. Trying to forget that, she took a shower and moved to the school. Liberty High, the main scenario and character in this tragic story; where Hannah had suffered all the disappointments that led her to such an extreme act. He took the tape recorder out of his backpack. He was hitting the play button. His head was confused. He stopped his finger. And he thought: What do you mean? Wasn't it just those 7 Hannah tapes? that?

The boy was confused. These tapes were not Tony's copies. No. They were new tapes left on his door, just like the previous ones numbered in blue ink and everything. But there was a difference. From 8 to 14. He heard the first tape. The voice was unmistakably Hannah's. Was she alive? How was she rescued? He didn't know: Did he have time to save her and no one counted? It started with Justin. What the hell? He thought. He listened to the tedious history class, in which the teacher played a movie about Vietnam and fell asleep. He left and went to the patio. He put on the headphones and continued to listen:

Yeah, Justin, it seems that everything that happened at Jess's party turned against you. But it would be unfair to compare you with that friend of yours. Incidentally, what a terrible taste you have for friendships. You and honestly, I, could have prevented that. .But we didn't. Fear? Cowardice? Lack of care? Anyway, I don't hate you, Justin. No, how could I hate someone who gave me the first kiss? Your family life is difficult, just like that day I took care of you. And in court did you remember that? Maybe I'll show you an hour just to say thank you. Locate it. Point A-1. Eisenhower Square. Remember that place? I know that yes, this is where it all started on those other tapes. A kiss, yes, a mere kiss at the end of the slide, caused a whirlwind and to make Justin worse, a picture, an innocent picture, that started all Just because I was wearing a slide and by chance, part of my panties was exposed. It was enough for millions of stories to appear. And you just put more gas on the fire. And you know, you're a sweet boy, lost, really wrong, and even stupid, but who wouldn't be, with the creation of shit you had? Now I see that. I even tried to help that day, do you remember? The day when you were so tired, so destroyed, that I even offered you my bed. And if any pervert is listening, no, it's not what you think. I slept on the floor and Justin stayed in my bed. And now you're under arrest, paying for agreeing to what Bryce's damn did. You should have protected Jess. I could, but it was cold. FROZEN FEAR. You tried to get him off her but gave up. you can hurt me fairly. You did hurt me, but others hurt me a lot more. And you can be sure, every wound you gave me came back to you.

Clay stopped listening when he got home. That day, he still hadn't talked to almost anyone. But he wondered why Hannah had recorded other tapes. As a matter of fact. Those tapes were recent. All that didn't seem to make sense. bad taste? It didn't seem. And Clay continued to think of various possibilities, all one stranger than the other ... What if the most unlikely were the truth? Hannah Baker is alive...

Never mind, then I think about it, he said to himself. He put on the Crestmont uniform and went to work. That day, everything went smoothly. A client wanted more butter in the popcorn and the boy did it the same way Hannah had taught him. .I missed her, that humor and that usual joy. She calling it Helmet. And she called him that because he went to work on a motorcycle, although he usually rode a bicycle. They were memories that would never leave his head. His great friend and his great love, which for him were lost forever.

Time went by. The clock on the counter wall was struck at 8 pm. It was time to almost go. He swept the cinema floor, removed the gum stuck to the chairs and hit the spot. At that moment, the place was empty, until he heard a familiar voice:

-Helmet-Come here! -It was quiet, almost a whisper-He couldn't believe it. Only one person called him by that nickname. Could it be ...A female figure came out of the shadows. And the closer she got, the more she took shape. The more she looked like someone she knew well.-

-Wait, who's there? - asked the boy, scared-

-Stop being silly, Helmet, it's me.-Did Do you see any ghosts?

It was, Hannah, her long brown hair, her bright blue eyes and her usual jacket. In her hand, a long red wig and sunglasses. The boy was confused, but he felt it was herself:

"Hannah, are you?" "You're alive! I don't believe it. Are you? How? ... What is this game?

"Shhh. Don't talk so loud, Clay. I can't show up yet. But, yes, it's me. And no, it's no joke. Do you doubt it?" Hannah smiled

"Why did you disappear? I can only dream. You should be in a coffin ..." he asked, perplexed.

-That coffin was empty...But I can't talk about it right now. Do you think I'm a ghost? -She smiled, sarcastically-Then okay- take my arm here-and took off her jacket, revealing two scars on both arms that almost reached the middle of the forearm-They are the marks of the blade-

In that depth, you should have died. Your parents saw you bleeding. How did you?...

-Yes, you're right-cut her sitting on a chair. Yeah, but it was close. But I won't tell you this now. It's too long. How are my parents?

-They were devastated, but it seems they are better ... I found it and you know that the school people now honor and honor you. Do your parents already know that?

"Yes," she confirmed. "Mom and Dad already know that I survived. And a long time ago, Clay." Only that I speak better on tapes.

-And the school people even made a memorial in their locker. It was actually a new girl, very nice, named Nicole Ryder, but she changed and now locker 123 is a memorial.

-I understand-replied Hannah, calmly-I know that, but I don't know if I like it that much. I thank some. And I must say that some of our colleagues, I wish I could speak again. ...I love you, Clay. Forgive me for not saying that I survived before and left you so bad. You suffered a lot from me.

"You can't imagine how much I suffered from your loss ... I was afraid to forget you. And more afraid to let you go. When did you return? I never saw you again ..." Clay began-

Wait Clay-she held the boy's hand sweetly- The important thing now is that you know I didn't leave you. One of the reasons that made me stay alive was you. But I can't give you more details. And yes, once again forgive me for making you suffer so much. You don't deserve this...

-But I was afraid to forget you, with all that happened, my mind, my soul just thought of you ...- I don't know if you understand...

.-I understand, I understand- Hannah said, with tears in her eyes- I would never forget you. The first person I would say that I am here is you. After my parents, of course. But rest assured Helmet, for very little you didn't lose me forever-I was so scared, I just tried to think of a way to get back at that wretch who ruined you.

And at the funeral I let you go...

-I know. Forget it, you wouldn't.-and he gave her an affectionate look-Neither do I to you-As they say out there, so remember. As far as leaving, in whatever sense you are talking, I never left Crestmont. Just that I disguised myself after I left the hospital. I couldn't show up, Helmet. And you didn't see me, because it wasn't the time. You let me go, but you didn't know I was still here.

"Why did you do that? Do you mean the funeral was all a trick?"

-I'll tell you later. In any case, you received my tapes, didn't you? -She wigs raised -That, Helmet, will give you some answers. And they are all on my tapes.

-Yes-he replied-Same as the previous ones. But what does this disguise have to do?

"In due time, you will know," Hannah replied. "But don't ask any more questions, Clay.

"-I have started listening to your tapes.-These are different. The order is very similar, but you will see that they are different in content-Where are you living?

-I can't talk now, but I guarantee you, sometimes you'll find me at home...Dad and Mom know that I'm alive now, as I just told you. I just asked them not to keep spreading it. I stopped there to see- Tony also knows. But I want it to be just the three of you for now. The others will know little by little.

"I must be going crazy, but that's okay. I keep it a secret," Clay swore-

I know it will Clay-Hannah smiled-I love you Hannah, sorry for not talking to you while you were here.

-I tortured myself with homesickness. I wanted to put a bullet in that bastard Bryce, who did this to you. And the others also made me very angry.

-You already said that-and chuckled-Forget it. That wretch got what he deserved. And I hope that he gets to jail. But don't become a murderer. As for the others, I appear gradually. that they did for me. I'll tell you later on the tapes.

"Okay," Clay agreed, somewhat grudgingly.

-If you need me, look for me here at the cinema, or in my room. I go there late at night before Dad and Mom realize. I was happy with the case won, this money will help the drugstore a lot

.-So is because of this didn't you show up before?

-More or less-dodged the girl-But then I promise I'll tell you everything. Live or in stereo...-You and your mania- Clay laughed, lightly

-Okay. Take care- and kissed her on the cheek

-You too- and she disappeared into the darkness in the cinema.

Clay closed the doors of the Crestmont, got on his bicycle and went out into the city. He arrived at Eisenhower Park. He sat down on a bench she used to sit with Hannah. Was she there? To her frustration, no, this time she wasn't. But seeing her again gave him some relief. Even in such unusual circumstances. Tony's tapes and listened again:

Justin Foley, Justin, Justin, a boy so beautiful and so destroyed. He walked with the wrong company, didn't know how to choose friends and still let his girlfriend down. But relax, you're not bad. I saw that you even befriended Clay. Even because it was he and Tony who took you off the streets, where you sank deeper and deeper. Good choice. Clay is a good and decent boy, and I like him a lot, you should know that no? Much more than the kiss you gave me, he gave me affection, affection and support. But I followed that legal step. all in a suit and tie to give a statement. And you defended me. That I thought was cute, but kind of weird. Why would you defend me? I don't know. Isn't it? Not to mention that you protected Jess, finally bringing clarity to that case. What is good for you, that alpha male posture gave me and gives me disgust. And did you see what you got out of it? A few months watching the sun born sometimes. And sometimes I think it was a good thing that this whole trial happened, because this school has to be reformed, at the root! whatever you want with the girls. Well, it's silly to think I'm the only one. Or Jess. No. Did you see, Justin, did you see what your shitty little playboy friend did, and what did you get? Yes, a big house, swimming pool, help from Bryce's parents and himself ... But what have you become? you wanted to play macho when you showed that picture to your friends, but you ended up making my life a nightmare from that moment on. If you were aware of that, I don't know. of all, I was enchanted by you. You have the gifts to bewitch a girl, be it with her charm, her malicious look or her smile, the damn smile that I will never tire of repeating ...I'm glad you're at least starting to be a more decent guy. Because I tell you, if there is something I hate the most, I'm an idiot. I met many and you are not the first nor will you be the last. But you have repaired yourself and even become friends with my beloved Helmet, you deserve a little credit, after what caused me on tape 1 of the previous batch. I wish that maybe we will see Justin. for the girls and not as a frog. Anyway, you're the first one I'm going to talk to. The others will have their sides too. And each one will have a reserved moment. Something you must have learned from all this, I imagine. Never let a girl down, Mr. Foley. Or better, Justy, Isn't that what Jessica calls you? Or did she, because after your omission, almost criminal, I don't know if she will listen to you again. Well, you love her, even in your crooked way. Just that he's with Alex now, and you lost. More will be on other tapes, dear Justin. You deserve a more detailed line on later tapes. See you later.

That would just be the beginning of another long journey of Hannah Baker tapes, young Jensen thought. What else would she have to say or vent? She didn't know at all. And she was afraid to find out. Tired, she stopped recording. the player's cassette, the earphones and leaned back in the seat. Hannah's presence, a few hours earlier, seemed like something as diaphanous as a specter. But I felt it was as concrete as anything in that park. the absolute conviction, that Hannah was right there ...

Note: This is a version of my fanfic Um Novo recomeço, originally written in Portuguese. For a broad audience in the United States, I decided to do this translation.