História Simple thoughts - Capítulo Único

I think too much and that's an issue.

I think about how I live or cease to live(since I'm dead inside).

I think my life ain't worth it and I tell my friends that, and even if they say that's not true, I can't believe them, because depressive people are the most selfish ones, they will think they suffer more than anyone (at least they will not care about how much other people suffer).

I think on how the girl I liked forgot about my existence in a week and got a boyfriend while I was inviting her to go out.

I think on how much better than me my brother is, on how he's got a girlfriend being so young, on how he gets great grades without even doing his homework, on how he beats me on every sport after just a few practices.

I think on how I broke up with my ex even if she was the only person I ever believed to love me and on how she slowly forgot me and now is totally over me.

And on how I should have stayed with her, so that nothing that is going on would be happening.

I think on my useless life and on how I should change, because I'm a fucking cliche, when I kiss someone I still think about feelings and about how I could make that person feel special, while that person thinks on how many more people she's gonna kiss till the end of the night.

I think on how this world no more suits me and on how there's no next life so this one is the one I should be enjoying and instead I'm writing my thoughts to a bunch of strangers I've never heard about and maybe a friend if she reads this(which I hope she doesn't, but if she does she should tell me).

I think on how I should stop crying over my life and start doing shit but I can't because I'm too afraid of what disappointments I'd get over it.